caught up in the mix

so my sister got me a few puzzles for christmas. i have just been working on it for the past 3 or so hours. they are addicting. and the puzzle isnt a normal one. it is one where there is pictures within the picture...

making caramel corn

me making caramel corn with the family on christmas.

phone-camera pics

the pic of the sunset is from the way home from college. the one of me is the make a wish tree thing i was talking about and the last one is firehouse mya. i gave that hat to her. actually i had two and she stole the second one out of my room the other day.

cherio

sorry it has taken me so long to write. i attempted to write the other day but my computer than kicked me off the internet and lost the whole long message i had written so i decided to give up. maybe i will write about what has been going on in another post, but im tired now even though it is only 9:24. i dont know why i feel more tired when i am at home. but whatever, i think im ganna fix my bed and then climb into it for a nice rest.

today not much happened. i went to lake country homes and did some file work for tami. it is a nice way to get money. i worked for at least 4 hours, and it went by prety fast. money is money. then when i finally got home, after waiting 40 minutes for my mom to pick me up (this sucks) i sat in the porch and worked on my puzzle.

then my fam and i and beccah too went to mall of america because make a wish was putting on a thing called stories of lights. i was one of 50 children chosen to be shown on a christmas tree. on the tree that was placed in camp snoopy was a picture of me and my story with what my wish was.

after finding the tree we ate some overly expensive dinner and then erin, beccah, and i ditched my parents and mya and walked around the mall for a few hours. we found some cool stuff. i didnt really buy too much. i bought two shirts. erin got this really cute purse (if that is how you spell that, sorry i am illiterate). i actually found it but she bought it. but cool anyways. that is prety much all that happened today. im kinda bored of home. i think it is worse because i have to rely on my parents to drive me around everywhere. then again if i did have my car i wouldnt even be home that much over break. oh well...

the procession starts

everyone is starting to round down on finals and is getting life in the dorms packed up. skye and john just left in the roaring wind and flying snow. it will be weird not to have the people around. i leave this friday after my chemistry final.

jon is on his way here last message i got from him, he was just passing sheridan. so its only a few more hours until he and his friend, Dema, gets here. anyways. erin is packing, i have to start writing that paper about my "bad" conduct that is due tomarrow. get some more chemistry studying done. fall semester is coming to an end. wow, that felt long as we went through it, but now that it is over i look back and feel like it was short. onward i shall go....

firehouse friends

the lights is Pinocchio's whale that he was stuck in, the one girl is Jill. what a beauty. the sepia pic is Shelli (Velly), and Jill. (shelli is my siamese twin, we arent stuck together though, we are velcrowed together. hahah. inside story)

college finals

i have finished two finals. my english comp and psyc. i got an 80% on my psyc. that is prety good. better than i have done on my other tests in that class. and english, i dont know. probably another D. it seems as if that is all Dr. King can give me. And the in class paper for the final was prety dumb. at 1:15 is when i start my math final. i am not too excited about that. i havent done too much studying for that. i know that i am going to pass the class either way, no matter what i get on the final. i have such a bad attitude.

i told erin that i cant wait to delete aleks off my favorites list. that will be exciting. i am not going to have withdrawls from that. not at all.

so yesterday i almost got my eyebrow pierced. i dont know though. i dont want a scar if i take it out and i dont know, the money and stuff. it would be quite a bit-o-money. maybe i will. i am going to think about it some more.

on sunday i went to rapid with some of my friends and we went to calvary baptist church there because lydia's dad is the inbetween pastor while they find a new one. i dont really know what i thought about the church. it was diff. than what i am used to. they told me that the service was a bit diff. than it normally is. so i wont come to any conclusions yet. after church we went to this really good pizza place. then we to the mall to see if icings did body piercings because brianna wants her nose pierced. her and i had a good conversation about that. then we went over to borders book in the city and hung out there for at least 3 hours. it was fun. i didnt really accomplish any studying like i had planned. john spears was hilarious. that kid cracks me up. the night before lydia had told us about the two ways of holding hands. one means just friends and the other is intimate. so john and the rest of the group kept holding hands, joking around. it was prety funny i do have to admit, a group of 4 all holding hands as you walk through borders books.... yeah ok, maybe you had to be there.

after borders we went to eat at this place called firehouse brewing co. it was really good and fun. we met up with john potter, erin, skye, and brad there. so there was then 12 of us kids. then the big group of us stuffed back into the cars and rode of to Storybook Island. Storybook Island is a park with all kinds of storybook playground equiptment that was covered with christmas lights. it was prety cool. shelli and i ditched the group and then brad came and joined us. we all said it would be more fun to do during the day with no christmas lights on. cause then you could climb on all the cool playground stuff. we are going to go there another time this spring probably.

after storybook island we went to culvers and got some ice cream, then headed back to the dorms. once at the dorms shelli and i showed brad our virgin vault dorm, humbert. we only had 10 minutes left before he had to get out of there because visitor hours end at midnight. so we went outside and hung out around the bench. we had some great conversation. God just totally used that night. it was so great to actually have a real deep conversation with someone from CV. there was some joking around too, obviously it was the three of us crazy kids. brad told us how he got to know God and some other things. i really enjoyed the night. God is totally awesome. I am really glad i have friends like them.

Its done and over

yesterday was my last day of classes before finals. i'm so excited. well kinda, now i have to study study study.

last night was the christmas party at the ministry house. i went caroling for the first time in my life (at least i think it was the first time, that i can remember). my feet got so cold that i couldnt feel them when we were walking around town. we only say for 3 or 4 houses because no one was home. then we went back and warmed up, ate some food, and played games. funny, the christmas story was broken up into 5 parts and was given to diff. groups. each group had to act it out under the precept of what was writen on the card. one group had to act it out as ninjas, my group was pirates, another cowboys. it was the funniest thing i have seen. i laughed so hard. when i get my pictures developed i will post some.

after that melany and i took out our cameras and played around with them. that was fun. shelli followed us around. she really likes to take pics too. i ove those girls.

when we got back from the ministry house erin started wraping a few of her christmas gifts and shelli hung out in our room. we found some really funny sayings for my door (i put a new quote on the white board on my door each week). the one that is on there now is, "If it weren't for electricity we'd be watching TV by candle light." by George Gobel. another was, "save energy, fart in a jar." that one i put on shana's blog. hahah. we had a good laugh. then we went down to jenny's room started writing on her board, but then her roommmate opened the door. we went in the room i climbed on her bed and pounced ontop of her sleeping body. she hardly moved. oh then shelli and i ran from her room. laughing our butts off. i thought jenny was going to kill me today. no, she hasnt yet. and yes, i have talked to her.

Girls Night Out

these are the awesome girls i hung out with last night. lol. they are painting their toenails. (sorry just have to laugh)

from right to left. Jill, Skye, and Lydia. what babes!

a night at the Arries

yesterday was awesome. i prayed that God would just keep me awake during my classes. i finished my in class paper, i dont really know how well i did. but i hope that it is at least a C. he is a tuff grader. then i made it through my last speech class. Hip Hip horray!! and last of all i had psych, i was sad to leave that class. i really like it and find it interesting.

i then attempted to work on Aleks but i didnt get too far. i am on all the hard ones. Aleks was due last night at seven. i got up to 141 out of 153 so that is a low A. thats still good, i could have done better though.

after my Aleks fest shelli came in my room and jenny had just stopped and talked to us in her bath robe on her way to take a shower. shelli and i got her good. some of the other friends have turned the knob in the shower by reaching around the shower curtain and sneaking their arms into the shower. so me and shelli, being brilliantly mean, went into the shower and did that to jenny. it was funny cause she didnt say a word you could just see her push the shower curtain. shelli and i then ran, not like jenny was going to chase us or anything cause she was naked, shelli sliped because her shoes were wet and she smacked her knee on the hard tile floor of the bathroom. ouch. ok bla bla then shelli and i went to my room which is diagonal from the bathroom and laughed it out. then got quiet as jenny came out. jenny looked at the two of us, pointed at shelli and said that that was mean. she said it had gotten really hot. sad, but funny. we got a good laugh out of that. i love those two girls. they are my favs in my dorm! they are riots to hang out with and just make my day all the time. and its cool cause we just are tight and can be serious one minute then laughing it out the next. I'm so blessed to have them as friends. i love it, indeed i do.

last night was a girls night out for the CV girls. it was held at the Arries. that was much fun. we drove over there and hung out. ate some food. yesterday was the first time i had ever eaten chili. it wasnt bad, not something i would eat every day though. the lady of the house, Linda, she is so sweet. it was for sure a girls night out. they painted my toe nails, and Linda gave me a great foot masage. it felt so good. shelli and i are siamese twins, we have been since last friday at the ministry house. we both arent the most girly chicks. i think that is one of the first times i have done that. then we put on face mask things. it felt weird to move my face around or even smile cause it was hardend on my face. good laughs. after all the fun we then sat down talked about first kisses, funny "boyfriend" stories too (when i say boyfriend i mean the ones back in elementry, junior high, and high school. the 3 hour relationships). there was some funny things told. i wont share with you that though. you had to be there.

after Jill and Lisa went to bed, the rest of us, Bri, Lydia, Skye, Shelli, and i just talked about church, God, beliefs, and so on. it was just so encouraging. Bri worked at Lone Tree Bible Ranch where i went the summer before high school. it was so cool the stories we shared. What i really liked was that she knows who i am talking about. for example, Joe and Brody. she remembers the church affiliated with the one i went with, Buffalo Covenant. it was really cool. she rememberd when Joe fell and almost died and it i liked how she knows how Godly they are and how they are so hungry for God and encouraging people. I loved it! we talked about the devil how one day at camp.... and the wind and how satan was in the wind at Lone Tree... good stories, but long so i wont share.

All in all last night was great, God is totally doing something in this group of people. i cant wait for the Alfici Bible study next semester, and Fuel. Just everything that God is doing on campus.

Terry Peak

tonight was the greatest night ever here at college. God is so awesome!!!! At 6 o'clock i left for terry peak in mikes car with jackie following close behind us. it was cool to ride with mike because i learned more about him and we listened to some good music. he has good tastes. anyways, i learned that mike grew up in California until his parents got divorced then he moved to Casper Wyoming with his father because his grandparent live there so his dad wanted to be near them. i learned a few other things also.

when we got to the condo we ate and played games then jack, the leader, brought us all into a circle and said a persons name and people were to say encouraging things about them. that was awesome it took over 2 hours to get through everyone because there was so much to say. the was so encouraging to hear what other people saw in other people. it just really showed me how encouraging everyone can be and that they see something in you that you cant see in yourself. just a total thing from God to do that tonight. Some things said about me was that i am like the glue in CV always going and supporting it. also erin just told me how much of answer to prayer i was to her, not being a partier and how awesome our late night talks on the bunk are. how much they mean to her. i totally feel the same way about her too. mike and bri said that it is cool that i look at the little things in life, like on the way there i was talking to mike and i just said how beautiful it is to see the canyon at night when the moon is shining through the trees and glowing on the snow. how could some one deny God when they see that. i was just so encouraged by everyone and all the great things we had to say to eachother. I hope God just keeps us all together even when we get busy with work and school.

during that we called shelli and chris because they both werent able to go. shelli had a track meet and chris had to work. so we called them and just told them how much of a blessing they are to us and so on... like we had there in the group. it so lifted up their day. both were really wishing they were able to go and stressed out because of finals week.

after that we hung out in little groups, some people went swiming and some of us, me, just sat around and talked with the other people. i learned that Bri and Skye both went to Lone Tree Bible Ranch the same year that i did. Bri worked there. That is the place I met jon and it was one of the greatest times of my life.

Then we came together again and sang a bunch of worship songs. to see God's power and majesty there in that room was amazing. How we were all praising the same one and only true God. Our voices brought together. i cant explain to you how cool it was and encouraging to have a group together that strong in God and seeking after Him. I just cant explain.

It was a great night all in all. one of the best i have ever had in a long time. the friendships and hearts for God that these kids have is awesome. Seek God with all your heart mind and soul!

some more pics

another day in the life of Carrie

i woke up this morning thinking that today was thursday. boy was i wrong. this week feels like it is going kinda slow. last week went by really fast. but i guess time is time and it isnt really going by fast or slow it is all in the mind. 7 school days left until christmas break!! hip hip horray!

so i am trying to get my last in class essay ready for tomarrows english class. i have no clue what to write. this is my leas favorite movie that we have seen in the class and i went to rent the video and checked both movie places in town and neither of them had it so that must mean that the movie sucks. but oh well i have to get the intro and outline done for class.

I just got finished with my last math class. that is so exciting. after this i dont have to do anymore aleks and no more math classes in college! so i have a final for every class left, and two days left of school left that i have to go to class. and no final next thursday so that is when im ganna pack and get ready to leave, while studying for my chem final of friday, ya know. ahhhh!!!

so i am having fun rambling on. oh hey tonight i think i might go to the party for the freshmen bible study. we are going to go to Jack's condo at Terry Peak. fun fun. i heard there is swimming and stuff. exciting i really want to go but i shouldnt cause of the stuff that is due tomarrow. whatever! i think im ganna go anyways. an experience for a lifetime. . .

one of the most rockin days

last night i could not fall asleep for the life of me so i finished reading to each his own. so because of the lack of sleep i didnt want to get up for my boring english comp class. the class wasnt as bad as normal today and plus i got my paper back from the other day. the inclass paper that i forgot to turn in when class was done and found it in my backpack later that night. the one i turned in by putting a not in the folder and shoving it under his door. well anyways, i got it back today as i was saying and i got a 75! oh my gosh. that is awesome compared to the D+ and D- that i got on the last papers. that gives me hope! then in speech we got out early and i also got my speech back from last thursday, i thought i wouldnt get anything better than a C but i ended up getting a B. which is totally awesome. so that gives me a low B in that class. another good thing that happened is that yesterday there was no school and yesterday is when we were supposed to take our chem. lab final. so i went and talked to Mrs. Z and she said that we dont have to do it. the final is optional, so i got an 87% in that class. not bad. so im not doing as bad as i had thought for my first half of my freshman year in college. so maybe i will get a C average. about the same as i got most of my way through high school. not bad. i actaully feel like college isnt a whole lot harder than high school, especially meadow creek. but yeah. i dont maybe my opinion on that will change as my classes get harder. we shall see.

only eight days of school left before i leave for christmas break. . . and next week i only have one final monday, two on tuesday, one wednesday, none on thursday, and my last one on friday at 11:30. then i'm on my way back home for break!!! party on. i'm so excited!

NO SCHOOL TODAY!

so this morning at like 7:30 i heard skye nocking at our door and i was like, "no way am i ganna get up and answer the door, its too early. i will pretend i am still sleep." so an hour later after erin got up she came in saying, "carrie anderson!" and went on saying that we have no school today!!!! we all partied!!!

i miss minnesota. this picture was taken near the police department in minneapolas. they have some prety crazy art around the cities. i like it! 

1st of the year

oh my gosh, that was totally rockin. i just went with my friends heather, shana, jenna, and kali and we went and did doughnuts in the snow at the old walmart parking lot here in town and then had a snowball fight in the car. yes... in the car! that was so funny. oh my gosh those chicks crack me up. yeah forever funny...

speech

11 more days of school left before break. that is including finals week!!!! i'm so excited, i just cant hide it. i'm so ready to finish some of my classes... ok so most of them. the only one im ganna miss is chemistry because i really like proffesor hightower and psyc cause it is the most interesting one of the semester.
so i gave my speech today. dont think i did too well. and i took the quiz, that i probably failed. but look on the bright side, i got it done with, the load is off my shoulders.
Now i think i might just work on Aleks and start studying some for my chem and psyc final. im afraid to be honest. but did i tell you on my last chem test i got 88%. that wasnt quite bad at all. but on the flip side, with my inclass english paper on tuesday, i put it back into my backpack and then found it in there later that night. so in other words, i forgot to turn it in cause i was in such a hurry. so yesterday i wrote a note and shoved it under his door to his office. i guess i will see what happens. i was just bulling it throught the whole paper. im so sick of english comp. im kinda excited for a new proffesor next semester for comp 2. alright, here i go, off to do some Aleks...

it sunk.

so jenny and i walk in dorms after CV and hilary tells jenny that she has to tell her something. she pulls her into the upstairs lobby and says.... thats your sink. so sitting infront of us was a sink. i guess star sat on it and it fell so she has no sink in her room. funny but sad.

a few bad pics of today.

so they arent that cool and you cant really see the snow but i just thought i would put them on here for my own enjoyment.

the first real snow of the year

they call minnesota weather bad, south dakota is just as bad. i talked to my roomie, erin and skye and they said the only college open in this state is ours. the snow is really coming down. jon came back last night, I-90 was from sheridan to billings was closed, and so he stayed with john potter. tony's friend lacy stayed with me, and erin stayed in mitchell. Jon said he will wait until this afternoon to see how the weather is, i would rather he stayed safe and stayed here. missing classes is less important then staying safe. i just talked to skye and she said that all the roads are closed. i'm praying.

minnesota is just diff. driving in the snow. maybe because i'm a city girl and they clean the roads prety ok. also, i dont know. its just diff. maybe because its just home.

i guess i will see what happens. pray for the best. and see if classes are going to be canceled. i kinda hope that lab is canceled tonight. that would be awesome. but yeah check in later, and stay safe in the blizzard!

thanksgiving2

so i didnt go home for thanksgiving. jon came here to my college and we just hung out on campus and around town. he got here on thursday night when there was only me, ashly, and one other person in my dorm. that was just weird to only have a few people here. the dorm was just vacant.
i sat around until jon got here. actually i didnt sit around i rode my bike up to k-mart which is over 3 miles up and down some nasty hills. yeah i made it. it was an interesting hike. jon arived around 9:30 and we just hung out for the rest of the evening. checked him into pangburn where he stayed in one of the visitor rooms.
one day we watched some movies, went to deadwood and walked around, hung out in the dorm, my favorite night was when we just talked. we had some great things to talk about. some i just needed to get off my chest. it was good. today we went to church and then hung out around the dorms until he left.
he called me about an hour ago and said he got into the ditch by dodging a truck so he was waiting for a tow truck to get him out. then he just called me and said that I-90 from sheridan to billings is closed. so now he is on his way back here. i dont know what to do. this is crazy. im really glad that he is safe. i told him i was praying for him and before he left that he should drive safe because shana told us the roads are prety bad. what a life. if only it could be easier. whatever. i guess we will just have to face it day by day. i hope he gets back safe... and everyone else too.
erin just called me and said she is staying in mitchell tonight and coming out tomarrow. icky weather!

thanksgiving

im not going home. im sitting here watching everyone else pack up their stuff, bring it to their car, and drive away. and im here in my dorm room thinking of home. i miss home and now i have 3 or 4 more weeks until christmas break. not that its going to be horrid staying here because jon is coming but i just right now want to go home.
i am really excited to see jon though. i cant wait. i wish he could just be zapped here. that would make is so much easier. here in humbert i think i am the only student who is staying. there are the two RAs that are staying to "watch" the people who are staying. but since there arent really any besides me, that sucks. whatever. come on jon, please come soon...

Fuel

I just wanted to say how awesome our tuesday Fuel get together was for CV. it was just awesome. God is so good. Just wanted to share that. It was on renewing the mind. some verses we looked at were Galations 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but CHrist lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loed me and gave himself for me." and Romans 12:1-2. "Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. " (dont just take my word, read them and see what the verses around them say. check it out!)
some key things Jack talked about was
-choose daily to be a slave of Christ
-real worship is not just singing but laying it down your day for God
-Don't let feelings rule (like the fact, faith, feelings train. the fact is the engine, faith is the middle, and feelings are last-the caboose.)
Isaiah 26:8 "Yes, Lord, walking in the way or your laws, we wait for you; your name and reown are the desire of our hearts."

oh and i was thinking. be thankful for what God has done in your life. thank the major influences, they may need that encouragement.
Another verse God gave me was John 15:3-4

oh jenny. i knew you loved me! lol (i miss high school) 

almost break

only three days left until thanksgiving break! God bless the pilgrims for there voyage so that we can get a few days off of school. haha. i cant wait for the break. its going to be really nice. just relaxing and then only a few more weeks and finals till christmas break. its coming sooner each day. exciting! im ready for a break from school. i am actually really excited for my new classes next spring. i have 16 credits but 8 classes. thank God two of them are only once a week classes and that my wellness class and lab are only half the cemester. so yeah. oh i am taking band this spring. that aught to be interesting. i am excited yet i dont know what to do. i have to rent a bass clarinet or something. or else i am going to play the b flat clarinet. so i dont know like i said. i have just fooled around with the clarinet not really played, played, it. i dont know if i am good enough. that is what i am honestly afraid of. but anyways. i need to get over it and stop thinking about the future.

so today i went to church and it was all fun and dandy. i walked over to the young center where the church is held with jenny and shelli. what awesome girls. then i read prety much all afternoon and finished the book i had been hopping to finish this weekend. so i am happy for myself there. then around 6:00 shelli and i went to the ministry house to meet up with some other people ot go to the Arris house. that was so much fun. we went to their house, which was really nice. they were a couple in their 40s and i loved it. we ate some turkey and some other good food then went and played a card game called nerd. i really like that game. then we got them to tell us how they got engaged and then jody and i talked to them. it was just awesome. im really glad that i went. she then sent some of the leftovers back to the dorm with us. lol

yesterday a group of girls and i hung out and alicia and amanda's appartment. that was much fun also. we watched polar express. i didnt like the movie that much. it was ok though. then we started to watch princess bride. funny funny, especially if you are with the right people and that group of girls suited the movie quite well. before we started the movies we talked a bit though and had some pizza. great times. i really liked this weekend. just beautiful and exciting. God is awesome!

i hope next weekend is this nice out. just beautiful today. i went around town skateboarding. it was fun but not the most interesting because i was alone. oh last weekend i went on a road trip with Amanda, Alicia, Jill, and me. we went to st. paul and saw a relient k, mxpx, and rufio concert at the roy wilkings auditorium. i will share more on that later when i have time. it was much fun and great memories though!

Across the Way

I stand at the edge of the harbor
Looking down at the blue liquid
Waves humming a proverbial tune
Reaching down to the water
It laps softly against my hand
Its cool breath caresses morning

Breathing in the moist air
Tasting the pleasure of early dew
The wind slowly walking past
I catch but a breeze of its presence

Glancing up at the pink mist
Blushing, the sun slowly shows its face
Covering the horizon’s scope
The pleasure reaches my soul
Sending a quiver down my spine
I hold onto the image

this is a pic of me. i just thought it was interesting 

unknown excitement

life is like stepping into a lake, there are unknown drops.

the terrible Tuesday

HORRAY! the terrible tuesday is over. thank God. i had to do my speech, which i dont think i did too bad on and then i had a quiz in speech which i biffed. then i had my psyc. test which i got a 66%. that isnt good. i dont know if i am going to take it over again. im kinda afraid to. over half the questions i got wrong were the ones that i changed when i was checking over my test. ick, that sucks. i hate that. im never doing that again. but anyways now im just ganna relax and go to Fuel for CV tonight and just thank God that it is over. Life is hard, but it is still good. check ya later.

a puzzle. kinda cool

http://five.flash-gear.com/npuz/puz.php?c=v&id=503925&k=2016374

ministry house

today was a good day. i was happy just to wake up and know that it was friday. what a great feeling. i, like every friday, only had chemistry and math class. mmmmhmmmm. nice!

i dont really have any reason why today was such a good day. but it was. i went to class, got my test results for my second chem test. i got a 60%, i thought i had done better than that. made some stupid mistakes. i hate that! whatever, i will try and do better my next few tests. oh yeah next week on tuesday i have both a speech, speech quiz, and a psyc test. so we shall see how that goes.

anyways after classes today erin and i chilled out and watched a bit of tv. then i just sat around for a bit while she was at the b-ball game. cool. then we went to the ministry house together. there we sat around. i talked to jenny, she is so sweet! i love that girl. im quite content with the people i have found here. they are so awesome especially the pps from CV.

Its cool, all week erin and i have been getting along really well and just hangin out a lot. we have stayed up late talking, took a two hour nap together (well at the same time), and just been laughing a lot together. its great! i hope it stays like this. i feel more comfortable around her when we are like this. anyways. its friday night and still early. if i go to bed now it will be the earliest ive gone to bed all week. crazy! but i just might do that.

i miss jon! we have only really talked over msn and yeah i wish i could talk to him face-face. i'm missing him more than ever. i feel like i am being a pain always talking to him online though. kind just getting anoying or something. probably not true but im just saying how i feel. i so wish we just went to the same college. also i dont like how nonpersonal our conversations are online, always the same. yes it is cool that we talk but.... its just not (like i already said) as cool as it would be if we could at least see eachother. I dont want to be the anoying girlfriend though that always has to know what is going on. i just want to be with him. be able to laugh and chill together. not just type to eachother, "yeah my day is going well/ok/good/fine, how are you doing?" ya know what i mean? i miss him.

this is a pic that i played with the color. its prety cool. it was fun.  

enough is enough

ahhhh!! I'm ready for a break. Today at the end of math class in the lab, Aleks gives me another assessment. The last one nocked me back quite a bit. Then I took another one and it put me back up to 77 but still that is way back there. so now I have to work on that. I also have been putting off my paper for english. tomarrow we have an in class essay.
other than that, the day has been going by well. last night Jill talked me into going to the movies in town here with some other kids. quite a big group actually. we went and saw elizabethtown. it was good. the begining was weird. but i like the end the best. Jill is so good to me. it totally made my day. alright. im ganna go take a nap, im naughty. sleep is needed though so that i can think clearly.

colleges

wow, i forgot how anoying college apps. are. they are so blasted long and some are just down right confusing. so jon and i have been talking about colleges for the past few months. talking about going to the same college. so we both filled out an application for University of Wisconsin, Superior. It isnt too far from Duluth. in a good location. then he also put in an app for BHSU. so i guess we just sit and wait. see what happens.
I honestly dont know which one I want more. to stay here or to go to U of W. Both colleges are in very beautiful areas but the thing about U of W is that it is closer to home, only a few hours compared to 10.
The thing about changing is that I feel like I have started new so many times. Changing schools at least 3 times in the first 12 years. Changing high schools. I kinda want to settle down. stay in one place. if i change next year, i dont wan to change ever again. But it will be really exciting to go to the same college as Jon.
anyways i better get going to dinner and then I'm off to CV. then i need to study for me chem test. hopefully i do well on that. i'm ganna pass this class for me and no one else. to prove to myself that i can do it. oh man then i have to start on my intro for the in class paper for english comp. then i have to start my speech and studying for psych test on tuesday. what a load. kinda stressed, i will admit. i'm not ganna let it get to me though. i just cant.

i love my sister! 

what funny lookin kids.  

this is the fam. 

the night to see it all

the night to see it all. . .
well it wansnt really the night to see it all but it was a great night. yesterday i got up and hung out with Bob, Kent, Molly, and Erin. we went and saw Wallace and Grummet in the theater near church (showplace). that movie was funny. after the movie Bob took us to Baker Square. being a nice guy that he is, he payed for the movie and the food. the whole ordeal was really fun. i had a blast. laughed a lot. i am very happy to be home. i'm glad that i got the opportunity to hang out with some of my friends. i miss home when i am in spearfish. as much as i love it there, home... is... home.
after i got back from the fun afternoon with the friends i got on the internet and messaged jon a bit. he asked me if i wanted to go to his uncle Pete's. i said sure. i needed a ride though. so him and his brother, Jake, came and picked me. I hate not being able to drive it just isn't cool, no fun what-so-ever. anyways that was really nice of Jake to go out of his way to pick me up.
I got to meet a lot of Jon's relatives. that is always cool. nice people. we played some arcade games and darts. i wasnt too good at either of them but it was fun. its funny to watch Jon 'cause he is so competative. he is so cute.
we left Pete's when Elizabeth, Mary's baby (Jon's neice) needed to get to bed. i felt bad, i had to sit on Jon's lap in the car because there wasnt enough room. thats why it sucks that i cant drive! reasons like that. it wasnt bad though. kinda weird sitting on your boyfriends lap when his parents are right there. after we got back to his house we talked to his sister and mom for a few minutes then they went to bed and we left for buffalo. we were going to go to the park for old times sake. ya know, maybe get in trouble by a cop. but we ended up walking alon the lake, it was so beautiful, i miss minnesota. then we sat next to a brick fence thing and that was cool. just sat and talked and watched the waves roll into the shore. feel the cold breeze. it was very peaceful and serene. i loved every bit of it. i love every bit of him. i've got it good.
around 2:30 i got back home and went to bed.
i forgot about the time change this morning. so i got up a bit earlier then i had to. but anyways we went to church and it was funtastic sunday (jungle). that was fun. tammy is so cool. i love that lady. after church we went out with joe and rachel and took a family picture. we then went back home and talked to them in the living room for a few hours. they told us some stories about delivering pizzas. all the crazy, funny poeple. then they left and i went down to my room and fell asleep. and here i am now, ripping songs onto my computer from some of erin's cds. starting to pack to leave tomarrow. i dont want to go back. i'm not ready to. i like home.

I'm home

im home, im home. its kinda weird to be home. odd but good. yestday jon's dad picked me up in spearfish with a plane. that was fun. so i got to fly home in a little plane.
i was so excited to get home. it made me so happy. so when we got back to buffalo, mn i told jon i wanted to kiss the ground. he said that that isnt cool. but you know what i mean. i was so happy to be home. this is my first time home since i left for college. his sister, mary, was home with her baby. that is why jon went home anyways. but mary said that she still gets home sick (she lives in california with her husband).
so when jon was driving me home. that was great, i was so giddy. when we finally got to my house he stopped at the end of my long driveway and im like, "dude come on, if you dont go, i'm ganna run up this thing." he drove up the driveway so slow. then at the tar he stopped again and went even slower, he was like, "boy you are getting ansy." oh my gosh yeah. come on why wouldnt i be.
i got up to the house and mya was standing at the windo with mom. she is so big. wow. when i got it i said hi to them all. what greatness. i dont think mya remembered me too much which makes my heart break. i love her so much. we stood up there and talked for a bit then jon left and i sat down at the counter with mom and dad. that was cool.
when i went down to my room erin had put a sign on my door saying welcome back. "i was bored so i made a sign, love erin." i love her. funny girl. in my room i layed down on my bed. oh my gosh i never knew how comfy it was. it is like laying on clouds compared to the dorm beds. and my room is dark which is so nice. i love it. i do.
im so glad to be home for the weekend, thanks dr. hightower for letting me take my chem test on tuesday! i really love ya for that. but yeah, im glad to be home!

me

pics

all these pics were taken this weekend in the state of confusion, sorry, south dakota. yeah it was fun! cooleo

a little blue 

down the falls 

flying through 

climbing over. 

flowing down.  

rushing through life. 

i was called out.

i hate feelings. one day they will be one thing and the next another. you ever feel like there is something playing with your brain making you go crazy. maybe eating away at it. taking every last morsel of normal/healthy, not scar tissue, out of it.
i feel like im going crazy. one minute i am happy with life and school and the next i feel like i am going insain and cant do anything. its all a waste of time. wishing i could wake up in my bed back home and still be in high school. nothing horridly important to worry about. nothing wrestling with my body. i feel like i am drowning in my own self image. i want to talk to my sister, i want to hug both of them. i want to be able to look my parents in the eye as i talk to them instead of looking at the words. wishing i could drive away from here with no one else in the car. but i am stuck here. no wheels, no possiblity to get aways besides the two wheels of my bike or the sk8 board. oh my gosh get me out of here.
im sick of using my brain. i feel like it is disintegrating even as i write this. i took another assessment for aleks. it nocked my back to 36. sick!!!! i was at 102. i need to get to 140 something in a few weeks. i am dying! oh my gosh. how can i do this. i can, i need to. im up to no good. i have so much work to do but so little time. im done, its over, im out. i hit the last ball and missed and was called out.

a lovely rose