vulnerable

so kinda crazy of me to be writing this, but i decided that i wanted to remember it for a time later on in life when i am reading this.

this has happened a few times. for example a few weeks ago when i was in the walmart parking lot driving out to the exit there were some guys going the out to the stop light. they guy in the pasanger seat stared at me, for what seemed like way too long, then the driver stopped the jeep and stared at me also. the only thing i could do was pretend like i hadnt seen them staring at me. there were a few other times where this happened. to be honest i felt quite vulnerable and especially violated. in a way, yes it is nice to know that some guys may think i am good looking but honestly the only guy that i want to look at me that way would be jon. but i dont even want jon to lust after me... that just isnt right.

so i just wanted to write that down, dont really know why, but i feel like i needed to get it out of my mind and writing it down would help with that. but now i am just waiting till 3:30 so i can leave for work and then after work i am heading over to jon's. we are going to head over to his uncles because his grandparents are there and then we are going to watch the fireworks at buffalo days. i wish the sun would come out, it is only like 65 degrees here. cold!, for june weather.