you ever have a friend that you think oh so highly of. i do. i think i love this person so much and that life would be so weird without them but when it all comes down to it. is the friendship that important. what is agape love? through the last few years i have grown apart from a lot of diff.friends because of the whole switching schools thing and stuff. did that actually hurt or is my mind just making it up. do these friends even care if they "lost" me and werent able to be with me anymore. could one day of not talking to them add up to a lifetime of seperation? the memories of our friendship tug on my heart and are breaking it in half. do i really matter to anyone. why cant friends tell eachother they love them without being sarcastic. why cant my best friend share more emotion and deeper detail about life. why do i feel like i have to carry the friendships that no one cares enough to attempt to keep them together. how come i am so afraid to make a friendship? i have lost all them or we have grown apart. is that why im afraid to have a boyfriend? am i too afraid to lose him too? even one of my best friends who said we would never grow apart even in times like this, has now gone down her own way leaving me in the dust. did i ever actually truly mean anything to her. when someone says i love you do they mean it? why do i have to be thinking about this? am i that pathetic?
1 comment:
I don't think your feelings are pathetic at all. I can fully understand the feelings that prompted this blog entry. I've found that one of the major reasons I personaly am affraid of Dating is that I see what Society calles dating and fear thats what I would do. I can also feal the pain of friends lost. The only way I can find the strength to go on is to trust in God to set my path, and those of the friends that I've lost contact with. On dating, I'm personaly not in a rush to get into what Washington called and "entagaling alliance" of course he was speaking on countries, but people arn't all that unlike countries. However realationships of that type consume a huge amount of energy and effort. So I'm just worried about being myself and being friendly with everyone, I'm not shoping for a "prize" and I have zero interst in dating for dating itself. If I happen to meet someone I like as a friend and feel there might be something more i'll take it as it comes but i'm not looking for a deeper relationship, just looking for likeminded, and other friends. I've talked to much now... anyway take what you will from my mental dump. But in the end the most important choice is to make a choice.
Post a Comment