ok, I have morning sickness. More like all day sickness. I'm trying not to complain, though the long holiday car rides have been horrible. I have to eat every few hours otherwise I feel nauseous and too much food at once does the same. Hello toast, welcome ginger ale. My pants are getting a bit tighter each week. I'm still a bit worried about everything and how we are going to make things work once baby comes, but I suppose we can do it. I think that I will be more excited once we go in for the ultrasound and we see baby. Only three more weeks until we go in for that.
Also, tomorrow is our four year anniversary. Exciting!! It's weird to think that Jon has been able to put up with me for that long. I still love him just as much as before, but in other ways now. It isn't that warm fuzzy feeling inside like when dating. It is the knowing that I have him to rely on and to that no matter what he will be there for me.
Right now we are at the lake house with almost all of the Totushek clan. We are just missing Mary and her family. Either way, I am on a bit of overload of the inlaws, no offense if you are my inlaws and read this, I get overload of my family too. A few of Dan's siblings are coming to the house later today. Oh my goodness... I'm not sure if I want them to know that I am pregnant either. I really, really, really dont want to hear all their stories and suggestions. Just let Jon and me figure things out on our own. Good grief. I suppose the only thing I want is some of the hammie downs, that way we can save some money.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
morning sickness
and it has begun. Jon and I were pulling into a Chinese food restaurant and my mouth started watering I could feel it coming. Jon kept talking to me and I'm like whatever, where should I puke? He told me to go around to the back of the building. I didn't make it. I made it to the side of the building and threw up. Then I knew I had to throw up again. This time I made it to the back of the building and threw up again. It froze immediately, I am sure of it since it is only -2 degrees out. Yep that was pretty much my entire day in that little story. Nice day hanging out and cuddling with Jon and feeling nauseous. Just a great day.
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
worried
Alright, I'm worried. Is it okay to feel worried during pregnancy? I am 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I had spotting this morning, I freaked out. I prayed and cried a bit (the overload of hormones doesn't help). I called the nurses and she said it may be alright, spotting isn't always bad because a pregnant woman's body creates so much blood down there that it is easier to burst something or if moved wrong. I hope everything is alright. The baby may have been a total surprise but I have soaked in the idea a bit more and am getting excited. And either way, the baby is part of Jon and me growing inside of me.
Along with the spot this morning I have had some cramping. It isn't too bad, but with having the blood it kinda freaks me out. Mom said that she had spotting with her miscarriage and with Erin.
It's only 9 o'clock and I think I am going to go to bed. I am just tired, emotional, and want to not think about all this.
Oh and to add to this, Jon is freaking out about everything. Worrying about how we are going to be financially ok after the baby comes. I cant even think that far ahead. He is super stressed out being that it is dead week and he has two assignments due on Friday and then gets his take home finals next week. He just needs to breath. It isn't helping me any that he is freaking out.
Can you promise everything will be alright God?
Along with the spot this morning I have had some cramping. It isn't too bad, but with having the blood it kinda freaks me out. Mom said that she had spotting with her miscarriage and with Erin.
It's only 9 o'clock and I think I am going to go to bed. I am just tired, emotional, and want to not think about all this.
Oh and to add to this, Jon is freaking out about everything. Worrying about how we are going to be financially ok after the baby comes. I cant even think that far ahead. He is super stressed out being that it is dead week and he has two assignments due on Friday and then gets his take home finals next week. He just needs to breath. It isn't helping me any that he is freaking out.
Can you promise everything will be alright God?
Sunday, December 05, 2010
suprise!
so here it is, Jon and I are starting the next step of our lives. Crazy to think about. I am pregnant. hmmm... that looks funny, especially with I before that. We found out a little more than a week ago. The doctors guess that I am in my 5th week making the babies due date August 4th.
Some thoughts I need to get out. . . So we weren't exactly trying to get pregnant but weren't not trying I suppose. We had started to talk about having kids, more like a kid earlier this summer. I had started to get into that time in life where I was thinking more about it and had started to get that wanting to care for something besides our two kitties. Though, those two kitties are a handful at times. Little trouble makers.
Anyways, I was a day or so late on my period and hadn't thought much of it. I had been a few days late the month before because of stress overload with work and life in general. I had taken a pregnancy test last month just in case that was why it was late. Only one pink line showed up on the test and a day or so later the cramps and blood came on strong.
Anyways, on that Monday I decided that why not take a pregnancy test again this month, just for the heck of it. I had told Jon earlier that week that I must be getting my period because my boobs were super soar. I followed the directions, laid the test on the instructions on the counter and finished using the restroom. As I reached over for some toilet paper a second pink line was coming into sight. Oh my gosh! Not now, not today, not me I thought! Heck, what is Jon going to say. He has said before when we talked about having kids that he wanted to wait until he was almost done with grad school. My heart raced, I had to tell him, but, but, ummm... I flushed the toilet, washed my hands slowly and stared down at that pregnancy test. I am pregnant.
I walked into the kitchen where he was making tacos, looked at my feet, Jon asked whats up. I told him to follow me. He followed me back to the bathroom, I pointed toward the pregnancy test. He just looked at me. And that was that. I took the other test that came in the box the next day, just in case. It was positive also.
We started doing our research. Jenny was the first one I told, I had to tell someone. And then we called both of our parents. Both my parents and my in-laws were surprised. I think my parents were a bit out of there element when we told them. My brother and his girlfriend are living with them, my sister keeps talking about getting married and her boyfriend hasn't asked yet (kind of wondering if he ever will), and now I am pregnant.
My in-laws on the other hand have 3 grandkids already. My father in-law sounded super excited, as he was with all 3 of the others, he has a thing with kids.
Here is what goes through my head, my aprox. due date is Aug. 4th. My sister wants to get married during August, okay! My brother in law and his fiance are (as far as I know) going to get married this summer. So that is that.
A little more to share, I have been super tired in the evening, feeling a bit nauseous now that I am over half way through week 5, I also get some headaches in the evenings. No food has really tasted super good, I have been drinking tons of water and now have to pee all the time it seems. Scooter hasn't been as cuddly with me the last couple of weeks, he has been going to Jon (that isn't normal). I read that cats can smell it on you and some cats dont go to you as much and other are super nurturing, kind of like how horses love pregnant women. Crazy.
Is my post getting long enough, cause I still have more to say!
We are going to tell our brothers and sisters at our Christmas get together. Any good ideas for sharing with the fam.? We have told Jon's sister, Mary, already though because she was able to answer some of my questions because she has 3 kids already, oldest 5 and youngest 1 year. She and her husband also wont be at Christmas up here in MN this year. Mary and my mother have answered some questions and had some suggestions. I am quite thankful to have that.
Some thoughts I need to get out. . . So we weren't exactly trying to get pregnant but weren't not trying I suppose. We had started to talk about having kids, more like a kid earlier this summer. I had started to get into that time in life where I was thinking more about it and had started to get that wanting to care for something besides our two kitties. Though, those two kitties are a handful at times. Little trouble makers.
Anyways, I was a day or so late on my period and hadn't thought much of it. I had been a few days late the month before because of stress overload with work and life in general. I had taken a pregnancy test last month just in case that was why it was late. Only one pink line showed up on the test and a day or so later the cramps and blood came on strong.
Anyways, on that Monday I decided that why not take a pregnancy test again this month, just for the heck of it. I had told Jon earlier that week that I must be getting my period because my boobs were super soar. I followed the directions, laid the test on the instructions on the counter and finished using the restroom. As I reached over for some toilet paper a second pink line was coming into sight. Oh my gosh! Not now, not today, not me I thought! Heck, what is Jon going to say. He has said before when we talked about having kids that he wanted to wait until he was almost done with grad school. My heart raced, I had to tell him, but, but, ummm... I flushed the toilet, washed my hands slowly and stared down at that pregnancy test. I am pregnant.
I walked into the kitchen where he was making tacos, looked at my feet, Jon asked whats up. I told him to follow me. He followed me back to the bathroom, I pointed toward the pregnancy test. He just looked at me. And that was that. I took the other test that came in the box the next day, just in case. It was positive also.
We started doing our research. Jenny was the first one I told, I had to tell someone. And then we called both of our parents. Both my parents and my in-laws were surprised. I think my parents were a bit out of there element when we told them. My brother and his girlfriend are living with them, my sister keeps talking about getting married and her boyfriend hasn't asked yet (kind of wondering if he ever will), and now I am pregnant.
My in-laws on the other hand have 3 grandkids already. My father in-law sounded super excited, as he was with all 3 of the others, he has a thing with kids.
Here is what goes through my head, my aprox. due date is Aug. 4th. My sister wants to get married during August, okay! My brother in law and his fiance are (as far as I know) going to get married this summer. So that is that.
A little more to share, I have been super tired in the evening, feeling a bit nauseous now that I am over half way through week 5, I also get some headaches in the evenings. No food has really tasted super good, I have been drinking tons of water and now have to pee all the time it seems. Scooter hasn't been as cuddly with me the last couple of weeks, he has been going to Jon (that isn't normal). I read that cats can smell it on you and some cats dont go to you as much and other are super nurturing, kind of like how horses love pregnant women. Crazy.
Is my post getting long enough, cause I still have more to say!
We are going to tell our brothers and sisters at our Christmas get together. Any good ideas for sharing with the fam.? We have told Jon's sister, Mary, already though because she was able to answer some of my questions because she has 3 kids already, oldest 5 and youngest 1 year. She and her husband also wont be at Christmas up here in MN this year. Mary and my mother have answered some questions and had some suggestions. I am quite thankful to have that.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
another day in FARGO!
what the heck am I doing? I read this book once that had journals from girls that had graduated college or were in their next stage of life. Some moved to places that they didn't know anyone. I feel just like they had described. Oh God, I need a friend. Jenny, I miss you, you spoiled me while being my roommate. I could talk to you at anytime. God blessed me with her when I had prayed for a friend. I think it is time for another one. Or else more calls to the one I have.
In every part of my life I feel disconnected, ok, not as much with Jon, but everywhere else. God I need you, hold my hand and be with me all the time. Your peace within me is needed.
We went to church this evening to meet some new people. Jon and I will be trying to get into a small group. I need a christian group of friends. My coworkers are just not what I need. My boss, Mandi, had mentioned that one of my coworkers is a virgin and made it sound like a horrible thing. Also, my other boss, Brian, makes it sound bad to be married at my age. What is wrong with loving someone? What is wrong with committing myself to one man and sticking to it? Even if I am 24 (ok, I will be in two days). Marriage has been one of the best things in my life. I have been so blessed to have a partner as committed, loving, and supportive as Jon. God, I feel stifled in my life right now.
In every part of my life I feel disconnected, ok, not as much with Jon, but everywhere else. God I need you, hold my hand and be with me all the time. Your peace within me is needed.
We went to church this evening to meet some new people. Jon and I will be trying to get into a small group. I need a christian group of friends. My coworkers are just not what I need. My boss, Mandi, had mentioned that one of my coworkers is a virgin and made it sound like a horrible thing. Also, my other boss, Brian, makes it sound bad to be married at my age. What is wrong with loving someone? What is wrong with committing myself to one man and sticking to it? Even if I am 24 (ok, I will be in two days). Marriage has been one of the best things in my life. I have been so blessed to have a partner as committed, loving, and supportive as Jon. God, I feel stifled in my life right now.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Migraines
I hate migraines!!! I just want to cry they suck so much. With a high of 90 and a humidity of over 50% the headache starts a coming. Every time I blink while moving my eyes, or move them in a particular way, I feel a shot down the nerves in my arms to the tip of my finger tips. I think to myself, "does this have to do with the brain invasion of '02? If that wouldn't have happened would I still be dealing with this?" and, "Can't these drugs work faster and better?"
Well, besides my little release of steam there, I keep meaning to post something. I would have liked to be better at journaling all of my thoughts and life.
I think I am going to close my eyes and wish that I could fall asleep and skip this.
Well, besides my little release of steam there, I keep meaning to post something. I would have liked to be better at journaling all of my thoughts and life.
I think I am going to close my eyes and wish that I could fall asleep and skip this.
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