at the airport 

i love jazz 

dashing 

forest lake 

mya what a girl! 

Ride 4 Kids

wow i'm tired. this morning dad and i woke up early and left for white bear lake. we went on a motercycle ride called the ride for kids. it is to raise money for brain tumor research. that is really cool i think. the ride was cool but it was about an hour and a half and my butt hurt by the end. i was just ready to get off. after the ride the group of cyclists went to a tent thing and sat down and ate lunch while they brought diff. people up on the stage. like people who earned the most money diff. people that supported it like honda cycle companies or whatever. last of all they had the brain tumor survivors go up their. yeah i went last year and i didnt go up. i didnt either this year. i got a shirt that says ride for kids star! that is cool. i told the lady that i wasnt ganna go up their and talk. i just dont know i felt uncomfortable. i know i shouldnt but i did. the whole thing was cool but like i said my butt hurt by the end.
after that i had to go to work at four. that was prety ok. i havent ever worked a sunday night at farmstead. interesting it was like a weekday lunch. easy. i liked it except that i am tired so that wasnt too cool. well onward with life anyways. good times, good times!

hi jon. lookin good in my sunglasses 

mya 

ride for kids. on the motercycle hurt my butt 

erin 

dad and i went on ride for kids to earn money for brain tumor research 

regaining

today was prety cool. i woke up late like always. come on its summer. i hung out with my mom which was a first in about a bajillion months. i went to work. after work i hung out with jon. we went to see willy wonka and the chocolate factory. we went and found the movie in the maple grove theatre. we got the tickets for 9:20 and had about a half and hour left to wait till it started. we then went to and got ourselves ice cream cones. ooh. we sat on a ledge and ate them. tasty. we watched wonka while drinking our jones and holding hands. that movie was funny. oh my goodness. it did take me by suprise but was on that totally hit the spot. fun fun fun. on the way out this man came up to us and started talking. he said something about disney and then to jon "you and your wife." jon just looked at him. i was nocked off my rocker. then he said, "you pheonce" (however that is spelled). and jons like "she's my girlfriend." that made me laugh if i hadent laughed enough yet during the movie. we then galavanted over to a park and chilled out there. hung out on the monkey bars then ended up just talking until i remembered i had to be home at one. on the way bakc to his house we talked about college. things i need to bring and what ever else. it was good. im glad i have someone to lean on or ask questions about that kinda stuff. i am really blessed to have him as a bestfriend and a boyfriend and i love him very much. :) ok i got home at 1:30 and for the first time in ages my dad was waiting up for me. i do like that he does that. it makes me feel loved. but why on a night that i was late. he didnt say anything about that though thank God! he asked how jon is doing and i told him a little about the movie. probabaly a little more than he wanted to know anyways. oh well. i have been really disconnected with my parents lately and that hasnt been cool. i hope it doesnt stay that way. goodnight alley cats

what can i say

today was prety awesome. i woke up at 1:30. i guess you can say sometimes you need the sleep. i didnt get much sleep at sonshine festival this year. i stayed up the last night with jon until at least 2:30. we had just sat around the looked at the stars talked and what ever else came our way. yeah, we ditched his cousins. i suppose that wasnt too nice. oh the greatest thing about sonshine this year was that children 18:3 was on main stage because they won the competition at club 3 degrees. that was really awesome. also there was some other great bands there this year. i say yellow second, olivia, children 18:3, and a whole bunch of other goodies were just grand! i really liked that jon was there. that was cool. it was harder for my parents because of mya and mom had to work saturday night. that didnt make it any better. anyways back to today. around three i went to best buy and hung out with grant there. we looked at cds, checked out car sterios and then played play station in the store. then we went back to his house for about a half and hour and he showed me some crazy things he had downloaded off his comp then watched malcolm in the middle. funny, funny show. last of all we went over to tylers house and played hearts with him and michele. that was cool. i got second place and finally understand the game. i think that was cool. grant is fun to hang out with. i wish jon could have been there though. that would have been really awesomely fun too. oh well. what can i say?

i drew this pic from a photo that was taken. i have a few things i want to fix but yeah not too horid. :) 

to give it all

yeah life has been interesting lately. what can i say. its crazy how im now starting to get ready for my first year of college. today after work i checked my phone and i had a message. my roommate, erin, called me. i called her back a few minutes ago. wowzers she is kinda talkative. or else just really nervous. she sounds prety cool excelpt that she was a cheerleader in high school. otherwise she said that she works as a janitor at her school which sounds cool. you have to have charicter to do that. we only talked for a few minutes.
on saturday i got up at six and drove to the airport to pick up jon after he got back from hawaii. i was so glad to see him. when i got to the airport i wanted to cry. china ran through my mind over and over. just different memories about it. anyways while i was waiting for his plain i walked around and checked out the airport. i took pictures with my camera. i have some black and white film. anyways i sat down at baggage claim waiting for him to come in and then the luggage started to go around the thing and he sent me a message on my phone saying he had just landed. a few minutes later i looked up and glanced down the long hall or room. there he was, him and his uncle pete. standing there next to the tv screens that show the flight schedule. he looked so cute. i sat there for a little bit and smiled. i got myself a good one. i then picked up my stuff and walked down to meet them. as he finally noticed me a large grin covered my face. i was so happy to see him. he gave me a hug with his huge bag on his back and everything. then he got his bags and i met his grandparents and another and then we left. we hung out the rest of the day until i had to leave for work. that was rockin. im glad he's home. it made me think about when we start college this fall how are we going to do the whole relationship thing. its going to be hard. five hours apart. we can do it if it is meant to be. i dont want to say goodbye to him.
today i worked a split shift. 11-2, 4-7. so inbetween i went to mccs and sat in the tubes at the playground and fooled around on my laptop. im writing a short story. i thought i would attempt it instead of poetry for once. we will see how it works out when i finish the story. then after that i went to the bookstore. that was all cool. back at work tim and i were running late at the terrace. i didnt get out until 7:23. crazy. now im home and i dont want to do anything. im tired. cool.

hmm 

saikano 

did i say?

i forgot to tell you. i entered one of my poems into a competition. anyways i got into the finals. that is prety cool. i wasnt expecting that. they even asked me to read my poem at a poetry convention in washington D.C. i do have to say that was prety flattering considering how bad my poetry is. well the one i sent was my favorite. whatever. just thought i would share.

Beneath

sudden darkness creeps over the body

surrounding it with a wave of cold air

entangling itself in the thick damp weeds

falling to the rough, hard, frigid ground

no energy to turn to the sparkling heavens

lost breath, unable to keep the body breathing

Beneath sudden darkness the body lay

The Configuration

The sunset quickly skips over the blue abyss
Stopping abruptly and drowning in the sea

White light filters out of the clouds
Echoing its way across the serene water

The skies freckles peak their way through obscurity
All in the sphere of perfect attendance

Gentle winds create song by playing the trees
While nights cry adds to the soft melody

Darks drunken essence dances with time
Showing no sign of aging

how much do you know about life

so i havent written for a while. and really i have no good excuse besides that life has been extremely busy.
well i graduated on june 3rd. that was great. the relief that i no longer have to worry about that. onto the next step in life. where that is taking me besides college i really dont know. i suppose i dont really have to have everything planned out yet. how interesting.
to sum up some of the things i have done so far this summer. well, my grad party. that was kinda interesting. jon was there the whole time. what a nice guy. i was really glad that he was. he made it easier. oh did i ever tell you i had my first kiss after denas b-day party. yeah i had said i didnt want to kiss until the day i got married. that didnt stay. i kinda let myself down by allowing the kiss to happen. not only that but i let my sister down too. that hurt more. my mom still thinks i havent kissed him and wont. i dont know, am i supposed to tell her?
ok back to whats been going on lately. the day after my grad party my sister and i left in the morning for our road trip to south dakota. i had to go to my college that monday to sign up for some classes and some other things. i got my roommates number and address. guess what her name is? erin. that is kinda funny in that that's my sisters name.
next after the half day orientation at college erin and i drove to custer state park and camped there for the next two nights. her and i climbed harney peak, floated on silven lake, climbed the needles, drove to custer, got in a few disagreaments, and ended up having a great time. really memorable and a check for my list of goals for my life. while comming down from our hike up to the top of harney peak this kid with red hair with a cap covering it and dickies jeans accompaning a few other punk kids up the hill winked at me. i had to laugh. that made me think of the boy from china that talked to me while i was waiting for the elevator and told me i was beautiful. interesting is all i have to say.
next i attempted to quit holiday but somehow got ropped into staying there and only working every other weekend. other than that i have been working at farmstead almost everyday except like two days a week. there was a party on wednesday and it was the 50's bash. they had like a dinner and got a basket with a burger and fries in it. i got to dress up like i was from that time period. i had a blast. then i went to church and trina and i talked about college. she is looking for a place with rodeo and stuff so she is thinking about my college. whatever ya know that would be interesting. we keep followin eachother around in diff. areas.
the other day i had my third year follow up MRI they said on a quick glance that it looked good nothing is going on. i had another app. with my meds doc and we talked about getting off the meds next year. i had to get an EEG to check out my brain waves and see if there is any seizure type things happenin. we got the report for that today. my dad told me this while we were putting the canoe on the truck. he told me that the doc called and said that i did have some chance on having another seizure if off the meds. he said that we were thinking it would be 95% that i wouldnt but after the EEG it was an 85%. not something i wanted to hear. yeah it is good that it is still that good and i should be happy but come on. what if someone told you that. first of all not many people understand me in a way because they never had a tumor. i guess i could say that im glad the tumor didnt grow back and that it is 85% but ya know, for some reason i feel just as bad. its like come on, why me, in a way. but ok i better get to bed. maybe later.