blocks

every day, every moment, every action in life is adding a block to your big stack of blocks. every little thing big or small is adding a red or yellow, or even blue block. things go good or bad. you will never see until the end though the huge fortress you made out of events in life.
i just dont know how to deal with life right now. im comin to an end here really soon which is very exciting but scary too because that means i am coming to the beging of another. i am frightened and dont know how to let anyone know that. i am enthused. i have three days left here of highschool. everyday i have not lived to its fullest potential as i should have. i fell as if i have let my self down in a way by not allowing life to come in its full degree.
i am also very happy and ready for a new start in life. its onward to college. out to black hills state university in spearfish south dakota.
ok another thing in life, sorry i just have to tell someone. is that i feel jipped. ok so we went to china to pick up mya about a month ago. i love her very much so. but now where did my parents go? ya know i need them too. it seems as if every time in my life when i need someone there ecspecially my parents they are busy with something else. never having enough time or dont even tell me they are proud of me or say that i did something well or am doing something well.
for a while in junior high, one of the hardest times in my life they were all thinking about joe and everthing going on then and then it was the church when i changed schools. they didnt understand. and now on one of my peak moments in my life, i graduate and start the next step of my life, they have mya.
they didnt even say after my band/choir concert that i did a good job. i was in a trio, a step out of my box thing, and they didnt say anything about it. they didnt evern comment at all. i took a lot of the pictures for year book and did a good job at it. they dont even look at me. they just think it is funny that a lot of the pictures in the yearbook are in our yard. and now the board walk is getting "popular" or published.
every time i want to talk or what not a finger is put up telling me to wait or there is something else. no time.
time = love. how come? HOW COME?