99 days

99 days until baby's due date. Whoop whoop, I'm getting to the third trimester and it's going to be tough, I can feel it already.

So, lots of things happening. I am trying to find a job, I had an interview for a manager position at JC Penny Portrait Studio. I also had one for a cashier position at Fleet Farm. If I were to work at JC Penny, I couldn't start my own business. If I were to do the cashier position for 20 or so hours a week and then get my business started. What would work best with baby is very important to me but so is financial security for our family. Prayer please, it would be greatly appreciated.

Talking about my business, check out my updated website. I photographed my sister's engagement photos and then did some senior portraits. There is a link on the left side of my blog.

mom's daughter slide show

mom made this for us girls a while ago, check it out by clicking on my post title

20 wk ultrasound

Today was the day! At 10 o'clock Jon and I went in and got our 20 week ultrasound. Everything went well. We are keeping the babies sex a surprise. Baby looks healthy and is a little wiggle worm, with it's heartbeat at 140. It was exciting to see our baby! We got some 3D ultrasound images also, they just seem so weird. In the 2D ultrasound we saw baby stick out it's tongue. Must be a happy baby, baby is moving around as I write this. Hopefully this wont mean that I wont be able to sleep during the last month of pregnancy because baby is moving around so much. I guess we shall see.


Baby was sucking on it's arm. I'm going to take that as a good sign, hopefully breastfeeding will be easy... hopefully.

Baby had it's feet up by its head, must be flexible. It is just so awesome to see babie's little feet and toes.

vacuum

I always liked that vacuum has to Us, it just makes it fun looking. So yesterday I was vacuuming and cleaning our apartment because Jon's parents were coming to town for his birthday (on the 28th). The vacuum just wasn't sucking things up right and has been through a lot, and has taken in a lot of hair, especially cat hair! So Jon and I went and invested in a new vacuum for the first time. You may say, lame... But, I totally disagree, it works so great and I totally want to re-vacuum and clean up anything I can get my hands on. Though, the re-vacuuming isn't needed because it sucked it all up the first time. I now feel like a total adult. Wow, I totally am...

Babies heart beat

Today was our 16 week appointment. We got in and out really quick. Jon and I heard the babies heart beat, it was 151bpm! It is good to know the baby is still in there growing and doing well. At wk 20 we go in and get our more in depth ultrasound. I can't wait for that. The baby should be bigger and kicking and showing off to us. Knowing that there is life inside of me and that it is part of me, has my genes and Jon's in it is totally crazy to think about. I love it! I'm getting excited and want to start looking at stuff for the baby, it is probably best if I don't do that yet.

Jon and I are on a mission to pay off our Yamaha bill, the moped that was stolen. Also, to get our credit cards down. Other then that we are doing pretty well, especially compared to others. I should be thanking God every day for my blessings in life, or the blessing of even having life. That is tough though :)

173 days to go...

can it warm up outside? I would be super duper excited if even it stayed at 30 degrees or so. It has been negative and lower for too long now, especially with the -20 to -30 some degrees wind chill. Talk about cold. A bit of green grass and flowers, the smell of fresh air from the open windows and patio would be fantastic! To be soaking up the sun with my baby belly...

So it is now 173 days until babies due date. Whoop whoop. The baby is making it so I can't suck in my fat anymore, it is now pushing it out and making me look big. We are now 15 weeks along, almost half way :) On Monday, Valentines day, we are going in to hear babies heart beat. I am super excited. I'm getting that mom thing happening and want to know everything is alright. Also, I hope to start feeling baby moving soon, I think I might have felt baby move, but I'm not for sure. When the time does come I will be excited.

Jon has been super duper busy. It's kind of annoying, he is just always doing something and when we do finally just get to chatting he has to get back to his homework. Dumb... He has had two assignments due every week for the past couple weeks. He has been staying late at school and then coming home and working on it until at least midnight.

tangerine

talk about too much.

Erin and Aaron are now engaged. The wedding date is May 22 this year. I am going to be almost 30 weeks pregnant. In other words, I'm going to be a big fat girl in the wedding. She is having me be the maid of honor which is cool, whatever, I just don't know, I'm ganna look so ugly!

I talked to dad today, he said that g-ma Anderson has a bassinet that has been passed down and all of us kids and dad and his siblings have used. I like that, I love traditions and family items. So I am excited to see that.

On a bad note (besides me being a big fat prego girl in a tangerine colored dress at Erin's wedding) Dad told me that Joe and Rachael's friend Eric M. died of a drug overdose yesterday. He was a good friend of theirs. It makes me wonder what went through their head, if they are glad they are living with mom and dad and getting things together. This could be called a wake up call, super sad though.

11wks 4days

Today was our first doctors appointment. The nurse answered our questions, thankfully (heartburn and constipation stink!). Then, later, we had our first ultrasound.

The ultrasound was reassuring to know the baby is doing well with a strong heartbeat and kicking up a storm. Lots of emotions went through me as I looked at the ultrasound screen. It is just super crazy to know that I have a baby growing inside me. Some time here I will have my, oh my goodness, cry. I keep looking at the images and thinking how crazy reproduction is and having a baby growing inside of me.

Jon says that I am not alone anymore... I guess not for the next seven or so months.





To add to other things, Jon went with me to get the ultrasound. I am super glad that he did. But it was funny because I had to have a pap smear also and to do the ultrasound they did the up the vagina way... to say the least, he was wondering at first why they had a box of condoms on the cart with the machine. He soon found out. He also saw that huge metal thing they shove into us women to make sure we are doing fine down there. Men, some day they will understand what it is like, well, sort of. They do have to have other things done to them when they are older.

talk about... cont...

talk about sad, I was excited today when I had my third day in a row with a bowel movement. It has been months since that has happened. Research says it probably has to do with the prenatal vitamins with all the iron and stuff. I think that the eating pears and exercising every day really helps. Physical exercise that is, I do mental exercise every day and that's a fact.

That's about as interesting as I get these days. I start back up with the spring season and Lifetouch tomorrow; not horribly excited about that. Money is money though. Hopefully that job will be able to get us through. My school loan bills finally made it to me, sadly. I about had a breakdown when I looked at how much we have to pay each month. We are going to have to apply for the low income payback status. We also got a bill from the Doctors and it is around three hundred dollars. All those expenses together are more than one of our pay checks and that isn't even all of our bills. We are going to have a serious re-look at our spending and make sure that none of it goes to waste, not that much does now anyways. It is time to tighten the belt one more notch, ok 5 (not physically, I am slowly enlarging with that baby that we made, it just seems to keep growing, silly huh). That's that.

I have taken a deep breath, time to unwind, not think about all the things we have to do. Lovems, bye

talk about...

talk about ready for a new season. I am soooo ready. Here in Fargo, ND we have already received over 50 inches of snow. That is way beyond normal. Talk about flooding! I don't want to have to deal with that, not fun. The upside of lots of snow and super cold temps (it's not supposed to be above 0 for a few days now) is that today the snowflakes were huge and fluffy. They were so big and gorgeous, you could see with the naked eye a lot of detail in those cold creations.

Babywise, we are coming up on 11 weeks. Next Monday is our ultrasound. I am getting excited and so is Jon. It will be nice to know that squirt (as mom has referred to the baby as) is doing well. I have been feeling this weird stretch or something from my groin up to my waist on the left side. I wish I could feel the baby moving, I want to know that squirt is growing and enjoying my warmth as I try to stay warm in this crazy Fargo land. Yep yep *sigh* thankfully I have a cat on either end of my body keeping me warm and cozy. They have been brats though lately, especially coco. He has been driving me nuts!!! Though, he is quite useful when it comes to body heat in the winter, not so much in the hot, humid summers though. Those summer days will be coming and I will be big and jolly with child, haha.

oh dear

I just feel so overwhelmed. Can I just cry for a bit, maybe it will make me feel better.

What should I do about jobs? Can we make it if I don't go back with Lifetouch for as many hours as before? How would I deal with the YMCA job? GOOD GRIEF!!! I hate having two jobs, especially one that isn't consistent and the other that pays me squat. Talk about sucky. Again, can I just cry a bit now.

Also, I want the ultrasound to be here already. I would like to know that this being growing inside of me causing me random pains and nausea has a heart beat and is doing well.

hello moring sickness; 9 weeks

ok, I have morning sickness. More like all day sickness. I'm trying not to complain, though the long holiday car rides have been horrible. I have to eat every few hours otherwise I feel nauseous and too much food at once does the same. Hello toast, welcome ginger ale. My pants are getting a bit tighter each week. I'm still a bit worried about everything and how we are going to make things work once baby comes, but I suppose we can do it. I think that I will be more excited once we go in for the ultrasound and we see baby. Only three more weeks until we go in for that.

Also, tomorrow is our four year anniversary. Exciting!! It's weird to think that Jon has been able to put up with me for that long. I still love him just as much as before, but in other ways now. It isn't that warm fuzzy feeling inside like when dating. It is the knowing that I have him to rely on and to that no matter what he will be there for me.

Right now we are at the lake house with almost all of the Totushek clan. We are just missing Mary and her family. Either way, I am on a bit of overload of the inlaws, no offense if you are my inlaws and read this, I get overload of my family too. A few of Dan's siblings are coming to the house later today. Oh my goodness... I'm not sure if I want them to know that I am pregnant either. I really, really, really dont want to hear all their stories and suggestions. Just let Jon and me figure things out on our own. Good grief. I suppose the only thing I want is some of the hammie downs, that way we can save some money.

morning sickness

and it has begun. Jon and I were pulling into a Chinese food restaurant and my mouth started watering I could feel it coming. Jon kept talking to me and I'm like whatever, where should I puke? He told me to go around to the back of the building. I didn't make it. I made it to the side of the building and threw up. Then I knew I had to throw up again. This time I made it to the back of the building and threw up again. It froze immediately, I am sure of it since it is only -2 degrees out. Yep that was pretty much my entire day in that little story. Nice day hanging out and cuddling with Jon and feeling nauseous. Just a great day.

worried

Alright, I'm worried. Is it okay to feel worried during pregnancy? I am 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I had spotting this morning, I freaked out. I prayed and cried a bit (the overload of hormones doesn't help). I called the nurses and she said it may be alright, spotting isn't always bad because a pregnant woman's body creates so much blood down there that it is easier to burst something or if moved wrong. I hope everything is alright. The baby may have been a total surprise but I have soaked in the idea a bit more and am getting excited. And either way, the baby is part of Jon and me growing inside of me.

Along with the spot this morning I have had some cramping. It isn't too bad, but with having the blood it kinda freaks me out. Mom said that she had spotting with her miscarriage and with Erin.

It's only 9 o'clock and I think I am going to go to bed. I am just tired, emotional, and want to not think about all this.

Oh and to add to this, Jon is freaking out about everything. Worrying about how we are going to be financially ok after the baby comes. I cant even think that far ahead. He is super stressed out being that it is dead week and he has two assignments due on Friday and then gets his take home finals next week. He just needs to breath. It isn't helping me any that he is freaking out.

Can you promise everything will be alright God?

suprise!

so here it is, Jon and I are starting the next step of our lives. Crazy to think about. I am pregnant. hmmm... that looks funny, especially with I before that. We found out a little more than a week ago. The doctors guess that I am in my 5th week making the babies due date August 4th.

Some thoughts I need to get out. . . So we weren't exactly trying to get pregnant but weren't not trying I suppose. We had started to talk about having kids, more like a kid earlier this summer. I had started to get into that time in life where I was thinking more about it and had started to get that wanting to care for something besides our two kitties. Though, those two kitties are a handful at times. Little trouble makers.

Anyways, I was a day or so late on my period and hadn't thought much of it. I had been a few days late the month before because of stress overload with work and life in general. I had taken a pregnancy test last month just in case that was why it was late. Only one pink line showed up on the test and a day or so later the cramps and blood came on strong.
Anyways, on that Monday I decided that why not take a pregnancy test again this month, just for the heck of it. I had told Jon earlier that week that I must be getting my period because my boobs were super soar. I followed the directions, laid the test on the instructions on the counter and finished using the restroom. As I reached over for some toilet paper a second pink line was coming into sight. Oh my gosh! Not now, not today, not me I thought! Heck, what is Jon going to say. He has said before when we talked about having kids that he wanted to wait until he was almost done with grad school. My heart raced, I had to tell him, but, but, ummm... I flushed the toilet, washed my hands slowly and stared down at that pregnancy test. I am pregnant.

I walked into the kitchen where he was making tacos, looked at my feet, Jon asked whats up. I told him to follow me. He followed me back to the bathroom, I pointed toward the pregnancy test. He just looked at me. And that was that. I took the other test that came in the box the next day, just in case. It was positive also.
We started doing our research. Jenny was the first one I told, I had to tell someone. And then we called both of our parents. Both my parents and my in-laws were surprised. I think my parents were a bit out of there element when we told them. My brother and his girlfriend are living with them, my sister keeps talking about getting married and her boyfriend hasn't asked yet (kind of wondering if he ever will), and now I am pregnant.
My in-laws on the other hand have 3 grandkids already. My father in-law sounded super excited, as he was with all 3 of the others, he has a thing with kids.


Here is what goes through my head, my aprox. due date is Aug. 4th. My sister wants to get married during August, okay! My brother in law and his fiance are (as far as I know) going to get married this summer. So that is that.


A little more to share, I have been super tired in the evening, feeling a bit nauseous now that I am over half way through week 5, I also get some headaches in the evenings. No food has really tasted super good, I have been drinking tons of water and now have to pee all the time it seems. Scooter hasn't been as cuddly with me the last couple of weeks, he has been going to Jon (that isn't normal). I read that cats can smell it on you and some cats dont go to you as much and other are super nurturing, kind of like how horses love pregnant women. Crazy.

Is my post getting long enough, cause I still have more to say!

We are going to tell our brothers and sisters at our Christmas get together. Any good ideas for sharing with the fam.? We have told Jon's sister, Mary, already though because she was able to answer some of my questions because she has 3 kids already, oldest 5 and youngest 1 year. She and her husband also wont be at Christmas up here in MN this year. Mary and my mother have answered some questions and had some suggestions. I am quite thankful to have that.